[an older photo of little B "helping" me in my home office. Apparently doing some design research...]The question I get most from people when I say that I'm a wedding photographer is "So what do you do the rest of the week?"
Hahaha..that's funny! Looking at my photography related to-do list next to me and the fact that I have a crazy-active toddler the answer is....where do I start? Often on Twitter and such it may seem like we're always working and getting things done, but sometimes I wonder about others, "how are they doing all this?" Especially with kids?
When B was about 9 months old I had reached the end of my rope. I was routinely working until 2am each night just to stay afloat. He still wasn't sleeping through the night so I would work until he woke up and then usually end up nursing him back to sleep. Then sometimes I would even GO BACK to my computer after that to finish up. I got sick like, so many times.
I wanted to write today about being a "work at home mom" and share my little amount of experience with this. Sometimes I feel this (imaginary, I'm sure) pressure to be all things to all people - a super mom every day of the week, available to all my clients 8-5 Mon through Fri, and a homemaker on top of that.
I wrestled a lot with this - thinking I COULD do it all by myself and wanting to...but ultimately accepting that if I wanted to keep my business and sanity I needed to find some help. I tried a "mom's" helper type of thing with someone watching B in the house, but I found that if I was in sight he wanted me and that didn't help me get much done. When B was about 11 mos. I found a wonderful woman who runs a small home daycare in our neighborhood. I started out just three hours one day a week. Soon after B started napping there it became 8-1, then 8-5, and now he goes two full days a week : ) It has been a LIFE SAVER - so affordable and so worth it.
B loves her and the kids, and I have 16 hours of uninterrupted work time. It's amazing what you can do with a full day to focus on work! This doesn't mean I don't have to work the other days or nights, but I balance it better and don't feel like one eye is on him with the other on the computer so often.
I could ramble on and on, but I think the thing to remember as a mom who works at home is that it's okay to get some help if you need to. I am so thankful to have a job I can do from home, but it's still a job that requires attention and time to be successful. Separating work + life a bit has helped me be more present in each. And sometimes if I get my work done I sneak off to the antique shops for an hour in the afternoon...it's called a lunch break ; )
Hahaha..that's funny! Looking at my photography related to-do list next to me and the fact that I have a crazy-active toddler the answer is....where do I start? Often on Twitter and such it may seem like we're always working and getting things done, but sometimes I wonder about others, "how are they doing all this?" Especially with kids?
When B was about 9 months old I had reached the end of my rope. I was routinely working until 2am each night just to stay afloat. He still wasn't sleeping through the night so I would work until he woke up and then usually end up nursing him back to sleep. Then sometimes I would even GO BACK to my computer after that to finish up. I got sick like, so many times.
I wanted to write today about being a "work at home mom" and share my little amount of experience with this. Sometimes I feel this (imaginary, I'm sure) pressure to be all things to all people - a super mom every day of the week, available to all my clients 8-5 Mon through Fri, and a homemaker on top of that.
I wrestled a lot with this - thinking I COULD do it all by myself and wanting to...but ultimately accepting that if I wanted to keep my business and sanity I needed to find some help. I tried a "mom's" helper type of thing with someone watching B in the house, but I found that if I was in sight he wanted me and that didn't help me get much done. When B was about 11 mos. I found a wonderful woman who runs a small home daycare in our neighborhood. I started out just three hours one day a week. Soon after B started napping there it became 8-1, then 8-5, and now he goes two full days a week : ) It has been a LIFE SAVER - so affordable and so worth it.
B loves her and the kids, and I have 16 hours of uninterrupted work time. It's amazing what you can do with a full day to focus on work! This doesn't mean I don't have to work the other days or nights, but I balance it better and don't feel like one eye is on him with the other on the computer so often.
I could ramble on and on, but I think the thing to remember as a mom who works at home is that it's okay to get some help if you need to. I am so thankful to have a job I can do from home, but it's still a job that requires attention and time to be successful. Separating work + life a bit has helped me be more present in each. And sometimes if I get my work done I sneak off to the antique shops for an hour in the afternoon...it's called a lunch break ; )
5 comments:
I just started sending my youngest to a dayhome 1 day a week this fall, for the same reasons! I work a lot at night still, but I feel so much more in control having a day to schedule phone conferences and such in especially. I plan to move to 2 days a week soon!
such a great post, raya! i can really relate. i think that so many people think that being a work at home mom is easy (myself included before i had a child!)
it's a balancing act - that's for sure. so glad that you still make time for "lunch breaks" at antique stores. we all need to find time for a little inspiration as well. :)
Babysitting is mandatory: working pleasantly at your home office while the kiddo plays independently at your feet is a total myth! I can work for about 15 min. before Jordan realizes what I'm up to and sabotages my plan. I have help for about 20 hrs a week and the rest gets cranked out at night and on my man's days off. My clients probably don't receive the attention they did pre-baby, but like you said: you CAN'T do it all, perfectly. Like they say, women CAN have it all, just not all at the same time.
thank you so much for this post. while i was pregnant i thought it would be so easy to finally get my small business really up and running (special event cakes) but now that my daughter is 6 months old i realize how challenging it is. i know i'll get there but the path is a bit different than expected.
Someday soon (I hope) I'll become a work at home mom too. I love your candor--thanks for sharing!
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